The impetus was a simple one: A friend, whom I've barely ever talked to but remains popular among the crowd I used to orbit, used to run a website. Somehow he attracted the attention of a stalker (I take it the website was some kind of hotness-rating website for bears and the now-stalker didn't rate), who is now occasionally (every five years or so) finding this friend online and posting nasty messages at him.
The friend posted this interaction to FB for all his buddies to see, I'm assuming so they could ridicule said stalker*, which they did. At first, I wanted to point out that this person obviously has mental issues, and suggest that maybe he could have been helped rather than gossiped about behind his back, that he probably has dealt with rejection all his life and probably dealt with a lot more, and he probably doesn't even realize he'd been such an asshole, and who were these people to judge him without even getting his side of the story...
...the list of what was going through my head went on. And on. So I just looked at everybody who liked the post, which included THE GUY'S FACEBOOK NAME**, and everybody who commented on it, and unfriended them.
I guess what led me to do this was a mix of two reasons:
- THE INCLUSION OF THE GUY'S NAME when ridiculing his obvious mental problems (which did elicit the expected "Oh let's ransack his FB and call him a loser" post, of course...) and...
- A lot of these people didn't bat an eye in throwing a tantrum when my own stalker forwarded my Crazyjournal to them.
Crazyjournal was how I tried to deal with rage and emotions that I couldn't control without getting on anti-depressants, which was something I was very scared of doing. In fact, all through that journal I noted +++through the whole thing (added 01/16/14)+++ that I didn't understand why I had written those things, that I felt crazy because I couldn't control my own thoughts, and yet when Stalker Dan downloaded the whole thing and sent and posted it to them, more than one read the entire thing and never bothered to suggest I get medicated and into counseling before I did serious damage to myself.
Couldn't be bothered... I had said something about them! I didn't hold them up on a pedestal! Oh boo hoo!
Yeah, I wanted to call these friends out on their hypocrisy, but then I remembered that a lot of them didn't even notice I'd had a stroke, so fuck them.***
And yeah, Dan, feel free to distribute this, too. I don't want friends who openly ridicule the sick. I did enough of that myself, and don't need it in my life again. And yes, I see the glaring hypocrisy in my own actions... believe me, they won't even notice I'm gone.
*This is a gross assumption on my part, and I apologize for it. I don't actually believe my FB friend was posting about it to ridicule the guy, but probably, much like this blog, trying to vent some steam in what he believed to be a safe environment. What the reaction from his followers entailed was not his intention, probably.
**This is honestly what set me off. He didn't need to reveal the guy's name. Pixelate it or something. I'm familiar with being in a similar, if different, state as this guy might have been, and his condition isn't going to get better with ridicule.
***I dropped everybody who commented and liked it regardless of whether they made fun of the guy or not. I didn't want to feel like I was giving favoritism to people I really cared about. Nobody was dropped from any other social media, just my facebook, which is boring anyway, at least until I secure a new job. Then out come the titties.