Sunday, March 1, 2015


I want to blame not going out last night on my knee, but it was just one of many factors.

There was a bear get-together in town.  Even my little brother thought it would be a good idea to go to it, since I've been kind of a shut-in lately.  I didn't get to town until 10, though, and I noticed the first problem almost immediately... no street parking.  I forgot, the snow hadn't quite melted yet.

This actually could have been easily taken care of at the library, which lets you park for free after-hours in their garage, but I went past the bar first and... ugh.  Too many people, already.  No thanks.  I mean, yes all that AND falling into my knee in the snow and ice and basically tearing up my knee, but honestly when the crowd gets to a certain stage for me, it becomes "critical mass" and I have to leave or have a meltdown, as it were.  So I just went to the bookstore and then went home, where my brother cooked me an awesome steak.  A huge t-bone, that will probably haunt me in a few hours.  Yeesh.  But delicious.

I've never been the most graceful person, so slipping and ripping up my knee was not a big deal to me.  Some of the ice that had melted had re-frozen into a slippery sheet.  My older brother tried to help me up, but my pain was so great that I had difficulty explaining that I needed to get up by myself because I was on a giant slippery ice sheet and basically his help would doom both of us.

The aftermath looked like I had a fight with one of those machines from "Will It Blend?" and lost spectacularly.  But after the leg thing and having my gall bladder taken out, it didn't faze me.  It was just blood, and indeed, after cleaning the mess away, it was not as bad as it looked.

It did look bad enough that I doubt any action would have taken place if I disrobed with the lights on, though, so I passed up on the bear run.

Apartment hunting now... if I'm lucky the rain will have melted enough snow to make it up to my brother's house today.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


i'm so tired of waiting and snow i'm not even going to punctuate this correctly.  normally when I see others doing the same thing i think about how lazy or dumb they must be, usually both, and i laugh a little inside at them.  now i'm feeling the same about myself, lazy and dumb.

today, when today gets here, i'll be going to lexington and having dinner with an old work mate and tell them whats going on.  mainly because i want to make them shit their pants.  the thing is, with kentucky winning in the ncaa, they want me to freelance and they think because i'm unemployed right now that i'll trip over myself to do it for them.  well no because first, unemployment is paying me more than they would, and also fuck them that's why.  you can pay a guy in LA what you were paying me to slap music under a VO and that's what you wanted?  could have told me that from the start, i could have done my job remotely, every argument you made about me needing to be in studio was your narcissism and ego and need to strut about the place like the cock of the walk.  go swim so more in your tiny pond, big fish.  you got your money's worth.  also i fucked a guy in my studio one night, right where i'd keep the krispy kremes you loved munching on, so think on that.

hard to believe that it's still going to be a month before anything happens.  at least the snow is letting up.  i guess this weekend is some big bear event in lexington, i guess i'll go to it.  maybe that bootblack guy will be there.  if I hadn't been dating Ex at the time i might have hooked up with him that one night.  my bad, i won't be such a prude this time.

wish i had boots for him to polish, i think he gets off on that.  oh well.

Friday, February 20, 2015


I posted recently about how we all, unfortunately, savor vengeance, when it is just.  The first person I was contacted about a job prospect for recently posted the same job again.  Apparently the guy he hired instead of me was a druggie and did not last long.

If cards had fallen differently, I'd reapply... but nah.

Back to snow.

"You don't live in Dayton anymore...?"

...was the line.  "Aw, we never got the chance to get together."

Uh, yeah, we did.  Both times I was treated to no-shows.  And then silence on communications when I did ask what happened, NICELY ASKED, because I needed a reason to go out anyway, but still...

"Any chance you'll be up this way again?"

I told him the truth; yes, to get my stuff out of storage to send to my next living space, but not a return to live in Dayton for any reason.  

"Well, lemme know, maybe we can finally get together :-P"

I said, I'll let you know when I know more.  And I will.  But I don't really expect that we'll be meeting up.

Back to the snow.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Fuck this

I usually don't whine about the weather.  There are plenty of other things to complain about.  But before I get to those other things, FUCK THIS WEATHER.

And also fuck some medical staff.  I have been trying to get health insurance since being let go last year, and didn't get it until January 3rd or so, which meant it wouldn't kick in until February 2nd, which was two days away from the end of my drugs running out.

Mind you, these are not controlled substances, just blood pressure drugs.  I went to the clinic first, because I wasn't going to be able to get to see the doctor I wanted to see.  So because my blood pressure was sky-high (as I said it would be as I was stressed out) I got lectured that they couldn't just give me meds willy-nilly because they weren't working anymore, seemingly.  I countered that I didn't want a full prescription, just enough to get through to my actual doctor's appointment, and was lectured again that it would be irresponsible of them to do that..., what?  I couldn't get in to the doctor I wanted to see immediately after my insurance began, and they wouldn't take me before it began, or even to register to see him, so would it be MORE responsible to just let my prescriptions lapse and then go into my doctor's appointment two weeks later with stroke-level blood pressure because I was on NO drugs?

What, was I trying to SCAM them outta some of them sweet, sweet blood pressure drugs, that make me half-impotent most of the time?  HOW SWEET to only be able to get half an erection, can we please keep it going? Or maybe I was just jonesing for more of the seizure medicine that makes my pee smell like two-day old burnt coffee?  THAT SMELLS SO GREAT COMING OUT OF MY COCK.

How does half this dumbass county's kids get access to goddamn Oxycontin as easy as aspirin and I can't get fucking blood pressure meds???  WTF!


The governor has issued an emergency declaration since most of the state is snowbound, and pharmacists can fill 30-days worth of non-controlled prescriptions without doctor's permissions.  So now I just have to make it to Kroger tomorrow.