Friday, July 7, 2017

Tender Mercies

I understand and accept that we are not normally in control of our dreams, but I really wish one day to learn how to do so.  Besides the obvious (wet dreams, something I still have never achieved even at this age), I could avoid the dreams I had recently.

One involved Voldemort, the guy who first tore my heart out, emotionally abused me every chance he got, and basically turned me from what I was told a "fun guy who could be obnoxiously hilarious but maybe is not for all tastes, and has a good heart" to "constantly sad, depressed, drunk."  I started having dreams about V again recently, as a job opening I was perfect for was near the major city near him.

That sounds like the corny, never-use line for a cover letter.  "I was born for this job!!!"  But I was, in this case.  Everything they asked for, I had in spades.  A great city, one that I love, and would love to live in, with one of the most awesome comic book stores in the world, and one that practically every musical act I'd actually pay to see stops by for every tour.

I didn't even bother applying.  They hired some guy out of Salt Lake, who sucks... not in comparison to me, just plain sucks.  There was a molecularly sufficient chance that I would run into He Who Must Not Be Named, even though I never go to bars anymore, or socialize much.  Even the smallest chance, so I didn't go for the perfect gig.

Soon after the job opening posted, the dreams/nightmares began, of him creeping into my life again.  The one this week, I had some control over.  He talked to me, talked about old times, remarked how much he'd missed me, much like the last time we tried to be friends again.  This time, I ignored him, and did not reply.  It did not frustrate his dream spectre, like I hoped it would, but the point is, I ignored him with contempt and never spoke to him. Probably the most satisfying nightmare I've had, honestly.

The dream last night, however, was not as satisfying. 


Friday, June 23, 2017

Job Search

The job search continues.

Since January, I have been producing podcast dramas for a company out of Los Angeles.  This is incredibly fun.  It seems I am good at pacing my music, dialogue, and sound effects, which is something I knew already, but is a quiet different beast when it's a podcast production where the final product is anywhere from one hour to two hours long.  It pays pretty decent, considering it's really just part time and I'm pretty much producing in my skivvies in my brother's house.

They are a growing company.  It is possible that they might eventually hire me full-time, but whether I'd want to live in Los Angeles, much less the west coast again, is not something I've thought of much.

Another job lead would allow me to also work from home, but it's not something I can talk about in a way that I can't even talk about why I can't talk about it.  But it, coupled with my ongoing podcast project, would keep me from having to uproot everything again, and would solve any financial hardships coming my way.

There are other opportunities, but I am loathe to discuss them as I'm sure my stalker still monitors any and everything I do.  I really don't understand that guy.  There's nothing remotely interesting or attractive about me to that degree, nothing that would make anybody in their right mind want to stalk me.  And there we go--that's the answer.  He's not in his right mind.  Luckily, everybody still in Texas is aware of this.

I am of course not superstitious, but it seems to me when as many job opportunities as have arisen in the last month pop up, all at the same time, it usually means one of those is meant for me.  Four possibilities I have applied for would allow me to work from home.  Three would require me to move, again... Texas (ugh no, not because of PityPartySadfaceStalker, but because Houston, ick), Florida (not really my bag but I'd be working with an old boss, which would be cool), and... St. Louis.

So I don't know how to feel about that last one.

But I do have a full-time (if temp) job lined up for a few months starting in a couple of weeks.  It would be tedious, but it would get me straight with my finances.

I should have just learned computer coding.  Seems any idiot with fully functioning fingers can do that (even when they're addicted to meth).  Anyway.

Back to work.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Parameters


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CONNECTING::::

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SCANNING [A]::: SCANNING
DATAQUERY:::COMPATIBILITY?
54.0983% SYSTEM COMPATIBLE::::
INSUFFICIENT:::DELETE? (y)

SCANNING [B]:::: SCANNING:::: SCANNING:::::
**DANGER** **DANGER** **HIGH VOLTAGE**
DISENGAGE SCAN? (y)
FIREWALL ACTUATE::::SUCCESSFUL.
DATAQUERY:::COMPATIBILITY?
INSUFFICIENT DATA:::PROBABLE MEMORY LEAK::::
INCOMPATIBLE CANDIDATE:::
DELETE? (y)

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DESIRABLE ATTRIBUTES DETECTED::::
DATAQUERY:::COMPATIBILITY?
80.9902% SYSTEM COMPATIBLE:::
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COMPASSION 90.0
ENDURANCE 90.2
ATTRACTION 98.7
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DATAQUERY::::RESCAN INTELLIGENCE
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PING SUBJECT
>2.6 ms

ACCEPTABLE? (y)
INITIATING MATING SEQUENCE:::
APPEND TO CURRENT PROGRAM++
INITIATING:::::
CONNECTION ACCEPTED::::
APPENDING:::::
APPENDED.

DATASCAN::::
ACCEPTABLE BONDING.
EFFICIENCY BOOST 53%::::
EMOTIONQUERY:::ACCEPTABLE 68%
LOVEQUERY:::ACCEPTABLE 69%
HAPPINESSQUERY::::ACCEPTABLE 67%
ACTUATE RELATIONSHIP::::
FINALIZING:::::

***DANGER*** HOSTILE EXECUTABLE DETECTED@@@@
UNDO APPEND::::UNDO
UNABLE TO PURGE::::CORRUPT DATA:::: 
###SYSTEMFAILURE IMMINENT###888::::
****(((93((())####
CORRUPTDATAPURGE######
UNABLE::TOCOMPLY#####
@@SYSTEMSHUTDOWN@@
















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@AAEEEXE..



*&




INI----##










@@ON















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###BACKUP RESTORE COMPLETE###


READY::::

REVISE PARAMETERS:::
CONNECTING:::::