Friday, June 13, 2014

Sleepless in Dayton

Ack, maybe that's not the best idea for a title right now.

Anyway.  I was having my regular sleep troubles, not related to anything personal... it's just what happens to me.  Around 4:30 this morning I sent Ex a Facebook message (well, messages technically) asking two questions I really needed to know the answer to:

Why now?-- Why contact me now?  Or send signals that you wanted to contact me?  For a few months now I'd finally come to accept that he was gone from my life forever, that I'd never hear from him again.  And even before that, I knew the only person responsible for driving him off was me.  I couldn't handle adult life.  But I'm doing so much better now.  Almost never late for work anymore, and everybody loves me there.  Everything about my life is better, but one thing is missing.

And... what now?  Are we friends?  Is it safe to "like" a picture he posts, or make a comment?  I can't even write more on that because I really don't know what I'm asking.  Maybe... did you just need to tell me that for whatever reason, and now we go back to having nothing to do with each other?

Because if that turns out to be the case... ah.  I'm not going down that road.

He has my number, if he forgot it.  Maybe I'll hear from him eventually and I can apologize like a normal person, instead of a crazy person.  

Surprisingly, last night, I had pretty great sleep.

No comments: