By "nearly died" I mean there could have been a good chance of me snapping my neck because I wasn't concentrating on where the left side of my body parts were. This is called "kinesthesia." From online:
- Kinesthesia is the precise awareness of muscle and joint movement that allows us to coordinate our muscles when we walk, talk, and use our hands. It is the sense of kinesthesia that enables us to touch the tip of our nose with our eyes closed or to know which part of the body we should scratch when we itch.
So basically, I've lost my sense if kinesthesia, part of my ability to coordinate my movements without being completely focused on them, at least on the right side of my body. Which is why I now brake while driving with my left foot as opposed to my right, since there's a good chance that if I use my right foot, I may brake too hard, or mis-place my foot when moving it back to the gas pedal. After lots of practice, it has become background noise to me. I know I'm constantly focusing, but it becomes habit. I no longer worry about keeping a glass of liquid on the right side of me, because I know it's there constantly. You normally forget these things in day-to-day, they become automatic, which is different from habit.
Basically I recently upgraded my meds bag to a Bag of Holding from ThinkGeek, so that I could start taking my laptop on road trips. The box for it was big, and I left it standing in front of my bookshelf of geekdom. Sometime today it fell over, and, as I juggled everything I was carrying in from work this afternoon, I tripped on it. I began stumbling, too stupid to drop my items but also very cognizant that my fucking geek shelf was to the right of me and my incredible HDTV was to the left. Rather than take a chance on either of those, I gambled with my own life, tripping eventually to the floor ahead of me and landing on my keys GODDAMN.
I could have died though. Anyway, time for spaghetti and Kroger meatballs. They are yum.
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