Monday, June 1, 2015

Bouts and Doubts

I had another massive hit of depression over Memorial Day Weekend.  So bad I had to tell my boss about it... he knew I was dealing with depression, but not how bad it had gotten for me.  I told him the worst thing was that there is nothing wrong in my life right now.  My job is great, my workplace is great, my pay is great, my health (physical anyway) seems improving... the only bad thing I can think of is being so far from home, but I've done that before.

My meds were off.  I was not getting the correct dosage.  They've been corrected, and I wondered when they'd kick in.  Then the Bottlerock weekend came up and kicked my ass with fun.  I was front row for the Mowgli's (or as I call them, Amy Pond and the Time Lords... see the girl singer) who weren't as hippie as I thought.  I had shit seats for Cage the Elephant, because I wanted to sit near the soundboard and grab the recordings as soon as possible, and I regret that because they really rocked the house.  I didn't see Zella Day, or Young the Giant, but I did stand in the back for ZZ Ward, who is an incredible blues-influenced performer and two of her band have liked my pic on Instagram.  I sat outside and waited for Michael Zanti to finish what sounded like either an enthusiastic set celebrating life and love, or an extremely punishing exercise class.  He is pretty incredible.

I had All Access at the chateau, so I went upstairs to the kitchen to grab a drink on the last day.  Just one band to record that day.  A group of human locusts already hovered over the food display, devouring.  A couple of them were on the balcony remarking how awesome the place was, and one remarked on my t-shirt and said he was into comics too, and we geeked for a bit while I munched on some fancy sandwich.  Then I excused myself to go get ready for the show.

Turns out they were the show.  I was chowing down on American Authors' nibbles with American Authors.  While they are not quite the type of music I like, their show was phenomenal, particularly their cover of "Yellow" by Coldplay, I song I hate, but their version?  Love.

This is a good job.  I told my boss that I had a great time before leaving Sunday.

Then I got to work this morning and found out we're doing another Nickelback promotion.


I had doubts that the increase in my meds was working, it certainly would be unusual for it to start to affect me so quickly, but I received a notice on my phone this morning that would, at one time, would have sent my brain into a tizzy of trying to figure out why and what and how and what to do.

Today I just deleted it and walked on to work.  Maybe the new dose is working after all.  Or maybe it really was the first great weekend of many here.

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