One was having another grand mal seizure. This was from drinking.
I had done so well for half a year without drinking. Then June hit. and everything hit at once, and I didn't care anymore. I seriously didn't care at all anymore. I tried to stay on the meds, but why? We weren't going to be friends again. When that became obvious even to my thick skull, I just gave up. I'd lost my job, the one I loved, and all care for the world. I kept trying to get back on the Zoloft but it didn't feel like before.
I look at my bookshelf that I haven't packed. I should throw away the Nexus 7 packaging. Why is it still there? Sentimental. Mrs. Peregrine's Home For Peucliar Children... why isn't it sold? You finished it, I never did. More and more I think after my cousin comes help move most of my stuff into storage for me, I should give up and move home and get a job at the factory Keith works at.
Last night, I got a gmail alert. "Ding."
"Your friend xxxxxx has recommended you for a job..."
And I clicked the link and read about the job.
And for the first time in months, I'm excited. Years, even. This job was practically created for me. My friend knows it.
So I cut short the trip this weekend taking junk home to come back and put together a more appropriate demo.
My head is spinning right now about it. It is a perfect job for me and my entire life would change. And best of all, the things in the past would become that... the past. No longer something I need to drag out of the tide and examine the contents of.
Sure, I'd have to say goodbye to family, but once a year I'd see them. Besides, I can see what I saw in Dad two years ago in Mom... her age is changing her. I don't want to see that. Keith will be better at dealing with her. Heck, he almost talked me into the ambulance. Just was a tad too mean about it.
Finishing up the demo and crossing my fingers. Maybe a new life will start soon.