Tuesday, December 10, 2013

GODZILLA 2014 is the new MONSTERS

I've never hidden being a Godzilla fan.  It's embarrassing as hell, but many other nerds still find it cool for some reason, even if they're not into it.  I guess it's like being a fanatic about The Prisoner but still finding respect for Dr. Who fans, as silly as that show could get sometimes.  "You like this, I like that... let's just play nice and put the switchblades down.  I'm the Sharks, you're the Jets, let's share the turf and get laid by some chicks."  

Yet I can't help but be a little let down.  My whole obsession with Godzilla began, obviously, as a child.  Once in a while, our TV antenna (a big proper one with a fence to keep us kids from trying to climb it) would pick up channel 41 in Louisville (WDRB) or channel 19 in Cincy (WXIX [see what they did there], both at the time independents, and now both Fox affiliates).  All life stopped during these moments.  We had fuzzy-screened access to monster movies, japanimation, and other imported goodies that the local national affiliates wouldn't touch.  The world was literally our oyster... until whatever atmospheric conditions were causing us to pick up the TV signals moved on, which was usually right at the climax.

Eventually I discovered that Maloney's, the department store that had opened across from Dad's Western Auto and was helping put him out of business (They were appropriately bought by "Heck's" within a couple of years), had not only cable (not even a chance of us having that on Hatton Creek) but they also had WXIX.  Which regularly showcased Godzilla movies!  Although not regularly enough.  Although I do remember a Sunday afternoon watching all the monsters in Destroy All Monsters while sitting on a golden-sparkle motorcycle helmet in the TV/45s and albums aisle, and i remember buying the   45 for Purple Rain in that aisle and the theme song for The Greatest American Hero there, I do not remember seeing another Godzilla movie there. 

So it was a great while before I was finally able to buy a real Godzilla film to watch on VHS, because I was fucking seven years old in Maloney's/Heck's, and I barely remember watching that, except when they beat the fuck out of Ghidorah's three heads.  I loved that.

The point is, when I finally got to watch this icon in his proper medium, which was in my teens when such things started to become available, I was shocked that it was pretty fucking stupid.  The scripts were insipid... they were just trying to match the "lip flaps" of the original actors, which, given the deleterious differences between our languages, naturally makes any lip-flapping mash-up sound ridiculous.  

That's when I really liked Godzilla movies.  The dumber they sounded, they more I liked it... especially when I began culling soundbites from them for my job.  They were insane.

Anyway, this post is getting too long.  The movie looks pretty serious.  Like Gareth's previous movie, Monsters, which I didn't care much for.   Far more serious than Pacific Rim.  I'm unsure I want something so serious from a Godzilla movie.

Rather have:

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