Never use an electric cattle prod from behind the cow.  Edit for mr smarty pants:  because they will explode a gallon of shit water on you, dumbass.

I'm going back to school to study chemistry so I can invent a shampoo that doesn't  make it look like I just spunked in my hand.  And then retire on the riches that will follow.

Five cents change

As if to punish me for being optimistic about the new job and new opportunities open to me, fate decided that one of my first promotions would be a Nickelback giveaway.

It may be cliche, but I swear to all that is holy that I had trouble figuring out which guitar riffs I recorded went with which vocals.

Also I got my first paycheck today.  That makes up for it.

Good, bad, ugly

The job keeps seeming to get potentially better and better.  It appears I will be engineering the recordings of our private shows, which is a big thing.  I mean, a chimp could bus the audio to separate recording channels, and it's not like I'd be doing any post-production mixing... but it leads to a yearly engineering credit on an actual album we'll sell.  I mean, damn.

Plus, I'll be actually learning about mixing for music, which is way different than doing comedy skits with pre-produced music.  Kind of scared and excited.

My big debut will be at the Bottlerock festival at the end of the month.

In the meantime, today everything I had forgotten about Protools clicked back today, and I've built my old template again and what I'm putting together sounds awesome.  Still kind of doing things the long way around with Protools, but it sounds like they're buying me the plugins and the mouse I need, so I won't stop them.

The bad, got hit by a foreigner while driving to Safeway.  Still dealing with the insurance companies on that.

The ugly, my neighbors' kids, but our walls seem thick, and I am only bothered by them when doing laundry.  So far.

much much much

So much I want to talk about right now.  I still cant, for reasons.

I am slowly crawling out from the boxes of my moving life.  But even that needs to wait for later.

I won't be going to get comics again until Saga is out.  This actually could be the death of me and comics.  Who knows, maybe another writer will come along.

Bronze Monkey is judging me right now.

Sub-missive

San Francisco is a pretty cool place to live in, although I live in Oakland now, but it's just two subway stops away.  

I walk a minimum of two miles every day.  At first, when I was lugging my laptop to work as well, I had to stop at benches and rest.  Apparently the amount of weight I've again lost since going back on Zoloft is the same as what my laptop bag weighs, because my back pretty much felt the same.  This week, without the laptop?  I might stop and rest once during the walk to/from work, for twenty seconds or so.

I've steadily been sweating less each day, and finally figured out that I can basically take any East Bay train I want to get home, which is fucking sweet:  no waiting, unless I want to.

I have missed two concerts so far, because I am still exhausted from the accelerated move.  I could have seen Alabama Shakes the night after I arrived, but I was pretty much comatose that day.  I didn't get to see FNM for pretty much the same reason, but since they are from SF, they'll probably add a couple of dates after their tour.

My boss really likes me and I think he's pretty glad he got me.   The first things I wrote for him didn't even get altered, not one bit.  And he's inviting me over for Mint Juleps on Derby Day, which, I don't want to tell him how I hate mint in anything that's not a breath freshener, but hey, he's the boss.  There's only so many times I can get by with drinking beers.

Oh yeah.  The key to not being a drunk if you do it because otherwise you cannot sleep is to walk a lot.  It's 9pm, PST.  If I wanted to go to bed right now, I would be asleep for like five hours.  I might be getting used to the commute, but it doesn't mean my body isn't still complaining, and needing rest.

All of the pro framed pics survived the journey, but I may wait til my brother visits to hang them.  Tomorrow I go to buy a couch and a new, smaller TV.  

Life is pretty fucking good for me right now.  And to think, it wouldn't have happened if my life hadn't gone to shit after the stroke and Dad dying.

Sol Invictus

I actually didn't realize that I hadn't driven my car for three days until the weekend got here and I needed to stock up on oranges and apples.  I forgot bananas.  I am not purposefully trying to eat healthy... believe me, I'll get the lasanga if I go to a restaurant.  It's just, on the anti-depression meds, I just lose my appetite.  I have to set an alarm to remind myself to eat stuff, because while I'm not in danger of wasting away, I have again lost a lot of weight... nearly 30 pounds.

I am glad I chose to not live in San Francisco, but the East Bay area.  It forces me to use the subway, which is great, and I've met my Google Fit goals every day since I started work.  The area of Oakland my apartment is in is actually really safe, and my walk to the subway is short, as is my walk to work from the subway.  

My apartment is tiny and just the right size for me.  Next weekend I'll go get a TV at Best Buy, for now I'll just use the tiny bedroom one.

My boss laughed his ass off at the stuff I wrote yesterday.  I haven't felt that good in a while.

It's probably torrented or streaming, but I'm listening to the new Faith No More right now.  Liking it.  I think I'll get into one of their concerts here... hopefully they'll sing my current fave song from them, and "Be Aggressive."

Under the boardwalk

My reviews of the states

Kentucky:  If we had had proper rainfall this year, it would have been a normal spring and everything would have been green and smelled nice.  Between cities was unremarkable.  Louisville was surprisingly pleasant to drive through, not much traffic to deal with.

Indiana:  Boring, and once again I took a big gay dump in Santa Claus.  I was not even denied a wedding pizza.

Illinois:  Not much to talk about here.

Missouri:  East side of the state smells like poop.  Do not bother to complain to the locals about it, they will not believe you because they can't smell it.  It's because of the Mississippi River, I assume, since Memphis smells the same.

They've finished the construction that used to vex me in St. Louis, so it was a smooth ride.  It was weird seeing all the road and city signs again knowing they weren't leading to the happy weekends I used to associate with them.

This was the state with the most insects.  I left a Days Inn and saw no less than three Storm Chasers gathered in the parking lot preparing to, chase storms.  A woman larger than me (with a shirt that read "run the red lines" that outlined a special area of Tornado Alley) walked haphazardly past me on two leg braces and canes, eager to get back to The Good Work.  

Iowa:  A desolate shit-hole.  Also there was snow.

Nebraska:  A desolate shit-hole.

Wyoming:  I'd been in Wyoming before, but not this part.  Very impressive welcome sign on the border, and striking mountains began to rise.  Saw my first wind farms and my first tumbleweed.  And a bunny.  I did not see Devil's Tower.

Utah:  Amazingly beautiful, and since that's me talking about nature, it should be a strong indication of how pretty it was. I'd love to actually visit, since beauty lasts approximately 150 miles.  Also the Star Wars fans there do not know how to spell:

Nevada:  Every rest stop in Nevada is intended to addict you to gambling.  Even the Arby's had a casino.  It starts literally at the border, with a big casino town.  Traffic was tumultuous so I did not notice much of Reno, but the roads were for shit.

California:  They check you for produce at the border.  The guy in the truck in front of me was pulled over because he was hauling something they had to confiscate.  My movers warned me of the dreaded Gypsy Moth which has no natural predators in California, and which would land me in prison if anything they were moving was infested with Moth larvae.  The inspectors, however... they just waved me through.

I am in my extended stay hotel now, have already had a few offers for companionship, which I've turned down, and have had my first unremarkable pizza.  Tonight I am just staying in... tomorrow my new life begins.  It is a pity it will begin alone.

If I wasn't so sore I would be seeing Alabama Shakes tonight.  Instead I will just be sleeping more.

I do not think I like pizza with bits of garlic chunks on it.

24

Right now begins my last 24 hours as a permanent resident of Kentucky.

The Move

The next few days are going to be hectic.

In addition to continuing my full time job (and working this weekend so that my travel days aren't deducted from my first paycheck), I have to tie up loose ends.  See my cousin before I go.  He will want to drink, but that's okay if I have Mango-ritas again.  My uncle whom I've never met died this week, his funeral is tomorrow... I feel guilty about not going, but the thought of pall-bearing as a final duty here makes me want to get my tits out.  Besides, the family is the one saying focus on my move, so I'm honoring their wishes.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop... this job seems too good to be true.  For one, what they really need is a copywriter... because I think the boss is used to a different style than what I began churning out in Dallas.  Just writing, it is so fucking hard.  It exhausts me, it exhausts my brother.  He'd honestly rather be in the gym.  Putting together the fiddle-faddle is easy, it's finding a new way to sell it that makes it stand out that is the challenge.

I seem to be succeeding on that front, anyway.  A few hiccups, but that's to be expected in the beginning.  Everything else is on the air.

I am back.

First Day Jitters

Today is my first day of the new job.

According to the boss, I am full time as of now.   I got my moving estimate and will be gone from Kentucky soon.

I have actually been working on writing stuff for them already and am producing stuff right now and writing more.  

It's exciting but scary knowing I'll be starting over again alone in a city where nobody knows me, with few enough friends that keep in touch anyway.  

Honest, if I have another stroke, it will be days before anybody notices.  I am taking the steps to ensure that doesn't happen again.  The antidepressants are working, I've even lost weight again, down 26 pounds.  I haven't had a drink since... wow.  Since my interview.

Doesn't mean I can't have a stroke.  Just didn't really notice trying not to, til now.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I got the job.

Yep. It is on.

Today it's almost official.  I have to cut cords with my past.  Spend what time I can with family and the friends that want to spend time with me, of which there are mercifully few who can't do that through facebook.

My next phase in life is beginning.  I picked the wrong week to want a PS4.

Moving time... getting ready

Well.  I have a little extra spending cash now.  

Some people collect silly things, and they take their collections seriously.  I definitely have done the former, and used to do that latter.  Although I may still have my figures, if they disappeared tomorrow I wouldn't be too upset except over a few.  Rom, Weeping Angel and MST3k busts, maybe some of the super-robots.  Definitely the metal Mechagodzilla.  He's not at all rare, but kids today all love the newer MG's that look like pimped out Transformers. 

I feel the same way about comics.  I used to be religious collecting them, but had to sell off a good amount to keep my addiction going.  Now I basically just buy Saga when it's out, and occasionally a few other books along with it to have dinner to.

At the comic con I met somebody interested in buying my run of Miracleman, and have sold it for a whopping $500, which I want to say I will spend on getting an apartment but will probably use for a PS4.  He was interested in my V for Vendetta run, but I do not want to part with that, yet.

By the end of the month the wheels should start turning.  I cannot wait to get on with life.

I am sure I am just having a psychosomatic reaction, but I've been on my meds for five (?) days now and have little appetite.  They can't possibly be affecting me this quickly but, hey, if it's working...

Too long

A good sign that I've been unemployed for too long is that fleshbot.com pops up as an autofill on one of my browsers now before facebook does.

Also, there is yet another opening for me to apply for.  Well, I need another one to keep my unemployment going, so...

Checks please

Cleaning out some crap, such as my Xbox 360 which I intend to trade in for a PS4, and found Ex's old checks.

They appear to be pretty old, certainly not from his address when we were dating, and I guess they fell out of the travel bag that he left (one thing I did keep... much better than my duffle bag).   So now I have to do the right thing and shred them, which gives me an excuse to visit Lexington tomorrow, as well as the PS4 thing.  I guess I could burn them, but my goal is to insure that I'm not responsible if he has a case of stolen identity, not some kind of symbolic ritual of cleansing or whatever the wiccans do for that kind of stuff.  

I learned that the symbolic stuff does not work for me... I kept a record of tossing what he left in the dumpster, which was supposed to be cathartic.  It was not.  In the end my little brother carted a lot of his and my stuff off to Goodwill.  Somebody somewhere has it, but it is not me.

Except for the travel bag.

Second day of Zoloft, but of course the effects are not felt yet.  Probably will be a month before I notice anything.  It's weird, as it builds up in my system, if it happens like last time, I just obsess less and less and don't notice my bad habits are starting to go away, until one day when I realize I haven't eaten all weekend because I really don't have an appetite.  I'm fine with that, I need to start everything over fresh.  Losing weight again can only be a good thing.

One of my go-to movies on my phone to go to sleep with is What We Do In The Shadows, a New Zealand mockumentary about vampires.  Here's the first six minutes.

Pretty funny all the way through, and one of the Conchords guys is in it (same one that was in Muppets Most Wanted.)  It's playing at the Kentucky Theatre, and I might go there tomorrow and watch it, as long as UK isn't playing basketball.  It's pretty funny.  Much better than Twilight.

In which good news continues to frighten me

First though... why is it that people who always claim to never put up with "drama" are usually the ones who cause the most of it?  Food for thought...

Talked with the boss and things are moving.  I can actually start seriously considering some of the apartments I've been casually glancing at online.  This will be expensive, but worth it for the experience, and all the amenities that come with living there.

A few other places have contacted me as I continue to apply so I can keep my unemployment benefits going, per Ohio's stupid rules.  One was WMMS in Cleveland.  A great job for a great station, but, nothing against Cleveland, but after this past winter moving north is not a priority.  But if they call again I will string them along just  to see how much they low-ball me.  That would be funny.

The other was ******* in St. Louis.

That took me by shock a bit because, well, the obvious reason, but also because I did not submit anything to them.  They got my demo through somebody else in their company that I did apply to, and the job has not been advertised yet, which says to me that somebody's about to get shit-canned.  

If this had been a year ago, I'd have pursued it, but for the wrong reasons.  I mean St. Louis is a nice enough market but also MURDER and besides, we all know the real reason why I would have considered it, which is why it would have been another Big Mistake in my life.  So I replied that I already had something lined up.  Mind you, when they told me how much it paid... I was tempted.  But no.  I've made enough mistakes in my life.

Speaking of, it's time to correct one of them... just picked up my first bottle of Zoloft (generic name Setraline) and it's time for my first dose in over a year.  Hopefully by the time I move it will be in full effect again and I won't be making the same mistake again.

One more month

This should mark about one month from me moving out and starting over, once again.

The difference being I am doing it for the right reason this time.  I've moved because of a broken heart... I've moved for friendships that weren't real.  I've moved for a better job that turned out to be a worse one, and I've moved just to have a job and a doomed relationship.

This time I am moving for the perfect job for me, in a city that I can build my life again and grow in more ways than just my job and expand creativity, for a boss I will trust and who I know isn't crazy, in an environment that will force me to be healthy whether I like it or not.

I have to conquer my impatience, which is my greatest enemy, and give up my past mistakes even when the people I've asked forgiveness from won't have anything to do with me.  

It should begin a very good chapter of my life, if I can just keep thinking with my head and not my dick, and keep my heart in my chest and not on my sleeve.

Jesus, that's a little too flowery.  Uh, also I will probably get good blowjobs.  There, much better.

Posters I got at the comic con

Buy your own at mattpeppler.com.