Never use an electric cattle prod from behind the cow.  Edit for mr smarty pants:  because they will explode a gallon of shit water on you, dumbass.

I'm going back to school to study chemistry so I can invent a shampoo that doesn't  make it look like I just spunked in my hand.  And then retire on the riches that will follow.

Five cents change

As if to punish me for being optimistic about the new job and new opportunities open to me, fate decided that one of my first promotions would be a Nickelback giveaway.

It may be cliche, but I swear to all that is holy that I had trouble figuring out which guitar riffs I recorded went with which vocals.

Also I got my first paycheck today.  That makes up for it.